Mr Whiskey Sours

seekingchuckbass

It’s Friday night and I excitedly walk into Scarfes bar. I ask myself, “How have I never been here before?”. So many attractive people having fun, I almost forget I’m about to meet my date. My phone rings, and I quickly bring myself back to the present. I answer. It’s him. “Oh hiiiiya, I’ve got a table, I’m the one wearing the pale blazer”, he says in a soft northern drawl. I scan the room, hoping that all my preconceived ideas of this 30-something primary school teacher who loves yoga are wrong. I spot him. Oh no, he looks exactly like a 30-something primary school teacher who loves yoga.

I shake his wet, limp hand and immediately wipe the sweat off on the armchair (sorry, Scarfes!). The next hour of conversation is a bit of a blur. Lots of discussion about how he’s broke and enjoys foreign massage – just what every girl wants to hear.

Early on I decide that it’s going to be a one-drink-sort-of-date. I order my glass of Barbera and nurse it like I’m drinking vintage chateauneuf du pape. Not Mr Whiskey Sours though; he’s going through his like capri suns. Scheizer, how can he not be picking up on my body language? I’m practically levitating off my chair and listening in on hot couples’ conversations. WHAT??? He’s ordered another Whiskey Sour. OK, it’s time to take drastic action. Looking at my phone, I suddenly proclaim that I’ve a family matter to attend. Classic family emergency never fails. Showing slight concern, he says, “OK let me just finish this”.  Funny how he takes more than 20 seconds to take this last one down.

I ask for the bill. I quickly eyeball it – it’s around £50. I place my card down on the table with haste; I’m almost free!! The waitress hands the card machine to him first and he looks a little nervous. Yeah I would be too if I drank three cocktails and had no money in the bank. She then hands me the card machine, and what the fack, I get landed with a £35 payment? How the heck did that happen? Did he pay for my one glass of wine and think it OK for me to pay for his three whiskey sours? I shoot him a look of disgust. He’s still innocently sipping. I begrudgingly tap in my code. Unbelievable. Not only have I wasted an hour of my life with this loser but I have also paid for the displeasure.

10314_whisky_sour

Lesson learnt: don’t ever go against your first instincts.

I am,

Still SeekingChuckBass

xoxo

 

Unknown's avatar

Published by seekingchuckbass

4 thoughts on “Mr Whiskey Sours”

  2. Few things i’ve learnt from my dating i’d love to share!
    1. You’re right…trust your first instincts…always. They never let you down. Never waste time dating idiots. Time is precious. Friends and family come first.
    2. Always impose a time limit on the first date up front before you meet unless you have a pre-conceived confidence about your date (e.g. have had them highly recommended, have spoken on the phone first etc) If you’re having fun you can find a reason to reverse it or leave them wanting more. Stick with a coffee (I never drink on a first date if i can avoid it it impairs judgement!)
    3. This is really harsh but from my experience i don’t go on dates with teachers any more. I’ve done a few and they were all hugely self-centred and boring. It’s a generalisation (and i hate doing this) but for me it’s a trend i don’t have the time to ignore. I’m not a personality match with people who choose to teach (Also avoid surgeons….they are narcissistic in my experience)
    4. My last date was with your brother (hence finding this blog…i’m looking to publish my own outside facebook). He is not an idiot. He is a true gent. He attempts to pay for everyting (unnecessary) and on our last date let me take away not only my piece of complimentary cake from afternoon tea but also his! If you are not treated like this by your dates you have every right to fume and rant and we shall all enjoy reading it

    Good luck in your search my love x

    Like

    Reply

    1. That’s some great advice there, thank you! 😁 Funnily enough I also recently went on a date with a surgeon; maybe I’ll backfill some of my other date experiences. And yes my bro is the best!
      Good luck with your blog, would love to read it sometime x

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment