It’s Friday night and I excitedly walk into Scarfes bar. I ask myself, “How have I never been here before?”. So many attractive people having fun, I almost forget I’m about to meet my date. My phone rings, and I quickly bring myself back to the present. I answer. It’s him. “Oh hiiiiya, I’ve got a table, I’m the one wearing the pale blazer”, he says in a soft northern drawl. I scan the room, hoping that all my preconceived ideas of this 30-something primary school teacher who loves yoga are wrong. I spot him. Oh no, he looks exactly like a 30-something primary school teacher who loves yoga.
I shake his wet, limp hand and immediately wipe the sweat off on the armchair (sorry, Scarfes!). The next hour of conversation is a bit of a blur. Lots of discussion about how he’s broke and enjoys foreign massage – just what every girl wants to hear.
Early on I decide that it’s going to be a one-drink-sort-of-date. I order my glass of Barbera and nurse it like I’m drinking vintage chateauneuf du pape. Not Mr Whiskey Sours though; he’s going through his like capri suns. Scheizer, how can he not be picking up on my body language? I’m practically levitating off my chair and listening in on hot couples’ conversations. WHAT??? He’s ordered another Whiskey Sour. OK, it’s time to take drastic action. Looking at my phone, I suddenly proclaim that I’ve a family matter to attend. Classic family emergency never fails. Showing slight concern, he says, “OK let me just finish this”. Funny how he takes more than 20 seconds to take this last one down.
I ask for the bill. I quickly eyeball it – it’s around £50. I place my card down on the table with haste; I’m almost free!! The waitress hands the card machine to him first and he looks a little nervous. Yeah I would be too if I drank three cocktails and had no money in the bank. She then hands me the card machine, and what the fack, I get landed with a £35 payment? How the heck did that happen? Did he pay for my one glass of wine and think it OK for me to pay for his three whiskey sours? I shoot him a look of disgust. He’s still innocently sipping. I begrudgingly tap in my code. Unbelievable. Not only have I wasted an hour of my life with this loser but I have also paid for the displeasure.
Lesson learnt: don’t ever go against your first instincts.
I am,
Still SeekingChuckBass
xoxo
seeking chuck bass 